change – LiviKnit

I wrote this post in September of 2020. This was mid the COVID shutdowns, pre-election, and sometime after the George Floyd protests. I can’t remember why I didn’t post it, but I’m posting it now despite the months gone by because, frankly, not much has changed.

If we really want to bring about change, if we really want to bring peace back to society, as hokie as it sounds, it needs to start at home. And as nearly impossible as it would be to change things at this point, we need to think about the messages being sent and received via the movies, video games, and social media available to our kids and the rest of us. Have you heard about Evil Dead, RoboCop, Natural Born Killers, Kill Bill? Of course you have. And our kids have seen them. Have you ever played any of the violent and graphic video games? They have. I will concede that these types of media do not cause violence in young people. But I absolutely believe that it desensitizes them to violence by way of a reset button. If you think the ratings listed on the jackets of these games and movies prevent teens and pre-teens from being able to watch or play, think again. We didn’t have the vast quantity of these problems before these movies and games. And I’m not referring to racial tensions. I’m referring to the overt violence that’s out there and the overall disrespect, entitlement, and antipathy among so many of our young people across all races.

This isn’t going to be fixed overnight. We’ve a helluva long way to go before the pendulum even begins to swing back. I believe it’ll get worse before it gets better. They’re now calling for the dismantling of police departments. (Who will they call when help is needed?) There will be no more Aunt Jemima (sorry, Nancy Green) or Eskimo Pies. Hey, here’s an idea! How about we keep Eskimo Pies and get rid of excessive violence in movies and video games? Uh, no. Sorry. Too much dinero to be made there. Think of the Seven Deadly Sins, and we’re not far off.

The message is there if we can get back to it through the clutter of Antifa, COVID, hateful rhetoric from both the left and the right. Racial inequity needs to end, so how about we stop referring to people by their color or ethnicity. Refuse to select your ethnicity on all forms. Don’t allow our leaders to politicize ethnicity to get votes; they’ll only bail on you once elected. Look at history, and see who actually did something about change rather than who just talked about what they’d do ‘if elected!’

I’m so tired of it all. I’m not interested in debating one single thing. I don’t know it all, nor do you. I just know it has to stop.

Seems like life changes if not daily, then certainly week by week, with the unexpected coming unexpectedly just when you think you have things finally figured out.

I like change. I do. No one could say that I haven’t had a few changes this past year, though certainly not all good. And while sometimes change is hard (sometimes!?), once you get on the other side of it, you find your new normal and settle in. Until it changes again.

In 2018 I retired from a job I really loved for a man I thought I loved. We had fun during early retirement, traveling around the country visiting friends and family and enjoying the newness of no routine. Then in 2020 during COVID my former boss asked if I was interested in coming back to hospice to help a fellow worker, and I could do it remotely. I’ve always loved working from home; I did it for 15 years as a court reporter while raising my family. I’m disciplined enough – or maybe I just love what I do enough – to sit myself down and do the work that needs to be done. I told her yes, absolutely. That was almost two years ago.

Since then, the office management changed, and I was told my position was actually not a position at all. I could no longer work from home. They said I could come back and work 40 hours a week, but because of the distance, I had to decline. Then, because I knew the position so well, I was asked if I would be willing to train the people in the office. In a nutshell, I was asked to train myself out of a job.

Fast-forward, and I have spent the past two weeks driving 35 miles to the office and back every day doing the training that was asked of me. They brought someone from the Orlando office that needed training. I’ve trained the two workers from my office. And then upper management came in and started showing me all kinds of new things until I finally asked her, “Why?” Her response? “I’m training you to train.”

This past week they let one of the office staff go, and I am now faced with a choice. I can have my old job back, and they will allow me to work part-time at the office making the drive three days a week instead of five. Or I can accept a position as a type of regional trainer traveling to other offices throughout the state helping organize and train in the role I know so well, working only as needed. And while that sounds ideal, what happens when I’m no longer needed?

On the one hand, I like the idea of being in a familiar place doing familiar things with people I know and enjoy. I’m good at it. It’s the drive I don’t like. On the other hand, I rather like the idea of going to different places, being challenged in new ways, and having my expenses paid for however long that takes. I suppose I can simply try one of these and see how I like it.

It’s yet another change looming in the not-too-distant future. But this time I’m open to it. I’ve been talking to God, telling Him I’ll go wherever I’m led without worry or angst because I know the path is already laid out for me. And while I don’t know what His plan IS for me, this time I’m trusting my Spirit and will follow where it leads.