Tag: Florida

Posted in Moving forward, This is us

Continuing the story of . . .

Posted on by kokomeau

Love, Laughter, and Late Nights: Online Dating After 60.

Before reading this particular blog entry, you might want to read or re-read the entry at the link above. There was definitely more to that story.

To quote from that story,

“A couple more back-and-forth visits took place until ultimately, while visiting me in Palm Coast, he told me he didn’t see this working; the distance was just too great. I totally agreed with him. As much as we were drawn to each other and our amazing similarities, the two hours between us seemed pretty insurmountable. We reluctantly said our goodbyes.“

The rest of the story follows:

We did reluctantly say our goodbyes. I watched him from my upstairs condo walking to his little BMW convertible, certainly sorry it couldn’t work. We really had so much in common, and I’d never felt more comfortable with a man before. But off he drove, back to The Villages.

About 20 minutes later, my phone rang. The caller ID showed his name. I hesitantly answered, “Hello?”

“Hi,” he said. “You’re not gonna believe this, but I’m in Bunnell. I got pulled over for not having insurance on my car.”

“What?”

He went on to explain something about his plate being run by a cop in Bunnell, and it came back that he didn’t have insurance on the BMW. Apparently he had bought the car, insured it, put his vanity plate back on it and thought it was good to go. He tried to explain that to the cop; he even called a friend who was a former cop to see if that might help. It didn’t.

They impounded his car and took his driver’s license. Stranded in a back-country town far from home, he didn’t know what else to do, so he called me.

“Is there any chance you could give me a ride back to The Villages?”

Keep in mind, it was a two-hour drive to his home, which was the reason he broke up with me in the first place. And even though I certainly agreed with him about the distance, it still left a bit of a sting.

“Uh … no … I don’t think so…”

After some hemming and hawing from him, I finally agreed to take him halfway if he could get someone to pick him up. He did, I drove him halfway, and we said our goodbyes.

And that’s where the rest of the other story picks up…

“Several weeks later, after a visit to Michigan for a wedding and my return home, I received a text from him saying, “Can you chat?”

I later learned that it cost him a thousand dollars … cash … to go to court and to get his car out of the impound lot.

He still says it was worth it.

Posted in Family, Moving forward, Us

Chapters

Posted on by kokomeau

I like to think of my life in chapters. The first chapter would obviously be my childhood where I grew up in a large Irish-Catholic family with all the challenges and joys inherent therein. While the teen years are still part of childhood, for me, looking back, it was a new chapter filled with insecurities, bad choices, a bit of fun, and some life-changing events. My third chapter, filled with college independence, learning to fly, and being on my own, while scary and challenging, would have to be high on my list of happy times.

Chapter four brought a new life with a young husband, lots of moves around the country, having children and raising them mostly alone. It entailed learning a new career, a new hobby, and finally struggling to find a way to survive a dysfunctional relationship while bringing up healthy adults. 30 years is a long time in the institution when it’s a good marriage. When it’s not, it’s a jail sentence. In chapter five, after a contentious divorce, I moved from Michigan to Florida. With my grown kids starting their own lives, I left behind a shuttered business, a foreclosed home, and a broken family in an attempt to pick up the pieces of what was left of my life and start fresh in the sunshine state.

Moving on isn’t easy. Change can be scary. A second failed relationship had me questioning my choices. I eventually found work in the healthcare field of home health, then found my niche in hospice. In chapter six I finally purchased my own place. Being totally independent gave me the faith in myself that I needed to really start fresh. I put my past behind me and learned to depend on ME, slowly regaining a confidence I thought was lost forever. With a move so far from home and being alone, I consoled myself with the somewhat hopeful thought that people like to visit warm places in the winter, and maybe, with time, that would happen. It eventually did, and I found I could relax and enjoy sharing this little slice of heaven with others without feeling like I had to explain any longer why I was there.

In chapter seven. I believed I’d met my last love. I (mostly) retired, moved into a 55+ community, and brought my wonderful 93-year-old mom into our home to live out her days with us. I had kids and grandkids just a few miles away. The future seemed so promising. But after the wretched COVID year of 2020, life with him changed forcing me into yet another failed relationship. My mom had to go back to Michigan where she died a month later. My kids moved back north. I went into a tailspin.

Chapter eight was one of healing, moving, trying to find my place after a very long and broken road. I ultimately landed in a lovely condo in the trees of Palm Coast, just a mile from the peace of the ocean. I was completely independent, slowly learning how to trust myself by giving it all to God, the Universe, whatever you want to call it. I started manifesting my future as I’d wished it would be. And as I grew closer to some of my siblings, I learned to be happy and content with my life.

The next chapter is still hard for me to grasp. Chapter 9 has come with the fulfillment of all my dreams! In my gratitude to God, I was brought the most wonderful man who has shown me what real, grown-up, unselfish love is. I’ve moved to his home in The Villages. Daily I am grateful and thankful, and we both shake our heads at how lucky we are to have found each other.

I anticipate wonderful chapters ahead! I’m actually one of those people who will often read the end of a book first so I’m prepared for what’s coming. I can’t do that in this situation. I will simply have to expect the unexpected, make plans but not plan on them, and meet each new day with Irish optimism and the belief that in following God’s plan for me, I cannot go wrong. Would I go back and rewrite some chapters if I could? I don’t think so. They are what brought me to this place, and I, for one, wouldn’t change a thing.

Posted in Moving forward, This is us

Love, Laughter, and Late Nights: Online Dating After 60.

Posted on by kokomeau

2022 was a difficult year for me. My mom died, I went through my second divorce, and my kids and grands moved back to Michigan from Florida. The following summer, I took the opportunity to go home to northern Michigan and to heal from that year.

After getting settled in for the summer, I gave myself over to God and started manifesting my future. I asked God to lead me down His path and to show me His way. Every day I thanked him for bringing me my ideal partner whom I could love and who would love me for who I am. I also reminded Him that I would not notice feathers or cardinals. No, he would have to club me over the head with my messages.

In the process of healing, I thought I’d give online dating another shot. I’d met a nice guy before I went north, but I realized early on that I was simply repeating old behaviors. I ended it. By the time I’d settled into my VRBO for my summer stay, I had only about five days left of my eHarmony membership.

eHarmony is a bit unlike the others. Match, Zoosk, Bumble, and most others have you write a profile, add photos, let you say what it is you’re looking for, etc. eHarmony actually has you complete an 80-question compatibility test designed to give deep insight into your character. It then scores your compatibility with another member. They say anything over 100 is worth pursuing.

Swiping left ad nauseum was the reason I was getting off online dating. eHarmony is not cheap, and I found they didn’t seem to have much to offer me. Until one evening when I heard the notification and checked my phone. It showed a compatibility score of 107 with Bobby, a gentleman in The Villages, a ‘mere’ 95 miles from my home. He had ‘liked’ just about all my information in my profile, which of course caused me to peruse his profile despite the distance. It would be just my luck to find a nice guy and have him live a two-hour drive away.

He was Irish Catholic. He was from a large family. He loved people and kids. He’d been divorced five years after a very long marriage. He was 5’8″ (my bare minimum height requirement). He had three daughters and four sisters. And in every photo of him, he was smiling! No photos of fish or dead animals, Harleys or Corvettes. Just a smiling man who had to know quite a lot about females who ‘liked’ everything on my profile. I ‘liked’ him back.

After several texts back and forth, he called. I explained I was in Michigan. He used to live there. I asked how he found me since my distance requirement was 30 miles. His was 100. We compared notes; lives, likes, and dislikes. Many times I thought he was kidding me just trying to match me. For instance, how many men love musicals? We talked nearly four hours that first time, then again the second, and the third…

When I finally returned to Florida, he drove over to meet for coffee in Flagler Beach. My first impression was, “He’s not 5’8”. But he was attractive. White-blonde hair with an athletic build, he had a great smile, and he was a terrific conversationalist. We spent several hours getting to know each other, and then he drove back home.

A couple more back-and-forth visits took place until ultimately, while visiting me in Palm Coast, he told me he didn’t see this working; the distance was just too great. I totally agreed with him. As much as we were drawn to each other and our amazing similarities, the two hours between us seemed pretty insurmountable. We reluctantly said our goodbyes.

Several weeks later, after a visit to Michigan for a wedding and my return home, I received a text from him saying, “Can you chat?”

“Sure.”

He told me he couldn’t stop thinking about me and that he believed he’d made a hasty mistake. He wanted to try and make it work. I was rather hesitant because of the two-hour drive, but he was adamant saying we have so much in common, we’re so comfortable together, we owed it to ourselves to see if we could make it work. And so I agreed.

He was right. We are two peas in a pod. We complete each other in every way, and we are so comfortable together. In April of 2024 he asked me to move in, and I did. I left my precious northeast coast and my darling little condo in the trees and moved to The Villages to be with him, and I haven’t regretted it one bit. He is everything I never believed I would find. I am blessed daily with someone I can talk to who listens with compassion, speaks with integrity and honesty, and makes me laugh daily. God answered my prayer and then proceeded to club me over the head to make sure I knew it.

Posted in Florida Fun, Randomness

Summer vs Winter

Posted on by kokomeau

Sweating-sunIt’s hot here. 90’s the last few weeks with about the same humidity levels. It rains almost every afternoon; a heavy, tropical rain that causes steam to rise from the blacktop and leaves the air even heavier with moisture. It makes your skin soft and your hair and nails grow. It fogs your glasses when you come inside. It makes you wonder how people live in this climate without air conditioning. It doesn’t last all that long; a month of high 80’s, a few weeks of 90’s. But it’s definitely stifling, causing you to move from home to car to store to car to home without spending too much time in between.

winter 2When I think about that, I remember where I came from, moved away from. Winters in northern Michigan last from about November through March and often into April. And I’m talking the cold, wet, windy winter that seeps into your joints and chills you to the bone. The never-ending bleakness of days upon days of little or no sunshine; late mornings and early evenings of darkness that make you long for summer when the sun doesn’t set until 10:00 pm. But to get to that summer you have to survive the muddy, rainy weeks of spring with the dirty snow piled up along the curbs trying to melt without sunshine, waiting for warmer days to finally rid itself. Summer begins, at least according to the calendar, June 21st and ends on September 21st. And sometimes, in northern Michigan, it actually does. Much of the time, though, summer begins and ends in bouts of 70- to 90-degree weeks, with cooler, rainy weather filling in the spaces making it virtually impossible to arrange for outdoor events without a backup plan. Fall, my most favorite Michigan season, rewards us with an amazing array of color and crispness that brings folks out for walks and drives, knowing that soon enough they’ll be forced back inside for the duration of another long, cold winter season.

Which brings me back to late summer in Florida. We don’t spend much time outdoors unless we’re at the beach; thankfully it’s only a few miles away. Mornings are best. People are out biking, walking their dogs or exercising, often before 8:00 a.m. But after 9:00 or so you’re forced back inside to the a/c. Evenings aren’t bad once the sun goes down, which is usually around 8:00 p.m. here. Most restaurants along the beach have outdoor seating where the ocean breezes keep you comfortable. Music generally fills the air and lines of pelicans fly overhead making their way to wherever it is they spend their nights.

DSC02955 (Small)During the day we ask ourselves how long we can stand the heat. Everyone mentions the humidity whenever they come in from outdoors. We are constantly in awe of the powerful and quick storms that move in and move out leaving steam rising from the parking lots. And then we’ll look at each other and remember: It could be worse. It HAS been worse. This is our ‘winter’ weather. This is what we have to endure to live and enjoy the remaining 10 beautiful months here. And anyone who has moved south from those long winters unequivocally agrees that it’s MUCH easier getting through this than it is getting through the seemingly endless months of the dry, windy, bone-chilling winter that forced us to look southward to sunshine, warmth, and the ocean.