The best feeling ever.

I forget how good it feels to see my kids until I do.  Maybe it’s some kind of mental protection; I don’t know. I mean, I ‘miss’ them a lot all the time: like, I miss having a table full, I miss the joking back and forth between them, I miss knowing they’re all in bed and I have a quiet house. THAT kind of miss. But with them grown and on their own, seeing them on Skype, talking on the phone, I know they’re happy and healthy. So while I think of them daily, I don’t miss them in the traditional sense.  Until I see them.

At Will Rogers Airport in OKC, when I finally figure out which floor to exit to find him, Drew (Andrew, to me) pulls up in his silver Charger, gets out, and I immediately feel tears stinging my eyes as I see this beautiful young man walking towards me smiling, and I wrap my arms around him. This is my Drew-a, a nickname given to him a million years ago by his baby brother. He’s confident and in charge as we fly through the big-city traffic to pick up my grandkids; one who is thrilled to see me, and one who will have nothing to do with me for TWO WHOLE DAYS!  We zip on and off interstates until we end up at his new home in Edmond where lovely Kristin greets us in her cute apron, the master of HER domain (and what a gorgeous domain it is)!  With wonderful gluten-free meals, including a ‘metal’ breakfast, and some crockpot magic, dancing, walks, the zoo, and a night of babysitting, my time there speeds by in four short days.  I see how happy and content they are as a family, and I am so delighted and satisfied for them.

A work week in Denver causes Drew to have to leave for the airport earlier on Sunday than I do, and after he says his goodbyes with hugs all around, Evie and I walk him to the back door. I tell him what a wonderful time I had, and as he puts Evie down, he tells her, “I want another hug from my mom.” The tears burn again. How did he know how much I needed that?

It’s funny how we spend 18+ years raising these people from completely dependent infants to completely independent adults. We want them self-sufficient, successfully and happily married and employed, not needing us any longer.  Right? And when they finally are; when we see the circle of life continuing as it was meant to continue, it feels so good. But there was a part of me there over that four-day weekend that longed to feel needed by my son, feel important to him again, even just for a moment. And without knowing it, he gave me that, right there at the end.  And it was the best feeling ever.

PS…Happy 32nd birthday, Andrew![portfolio-gallery include=2406]