I DID know then what I know now.

One doesn’t often get the opportunity to say that, especially when it comes to issues of the heart, decisions made, choices acted upon.

I’ve read that in any relationship, it takes almost two years of being together before that rosy glow wears off and the grind of daily living begins to influence who we are as a couple. That seems like such a long time, especially when you’re together day in and day out believing you know everything there is to know about one another.

But I now believe that to be true. I would even venture to say that, depending on your lifestyle and choices, it could take even longer. Other influences to that might be the belief that one can change another person if given enough time, empathy, and rationalization.

But I now accept that the influences of our youth and our willingness and ability to either accept or change define who we are as adults.

I feel as if I’ve come full circle…almost. I’d written previously about my first love…my last love. I’ve explored the whys of our break up all those years ago only to find each other later in life to then break up again. And what I realize is that the things that broke us up in our younger days were the same things to break us up now. One cannot change another person. And unless they want to change, they are who they are. So we either learn from our mistakes or we continue to make the same ones, re-defining insanity, over and over.

Perhaps it was a rebound relationship, though that idea frustrates me because I want to think I’m smarter than that. None of us chooses wrong intentionally. But ‘this time’ I will make every attempt NOT to repeat the mistakes I’ve made. I’m determined to learn and move forward, with or without someone by my side. I’m stronger, more confident, and happier than I’ve ever been.