Me: Thank you for sitting down with me. So, Moira Rose, what is it about you, do you think, that so many women seem to identify with?
Moira: When one of us shines, all of us shine.
Me: I think what I like most about you is your straightforwardness, your no-holds-barred approach to your relationship with others. Have you found that this directness turns some people off?
Moira: That’s exactly the kind of paranoia that makes me weary of spending time with you.
Me: You went from the upper 1% to … well, to this; pretty much nothing, living here in Schitts Creek. And yet you appear to have kept your dignity and your family intact. How do you do it?
Moira: I’ve been gutted. I’ve been stripped of every morsel of pleasure I’ve earned in this life. Who knows what will befall us tomorrow? You could be hit by a Mack truck or bopped on the head by a tiny piece of space debris. One must champion oneself and say, ‘I am ready for this!
Me: But how did you not fall apart?
Moira: Who has time amidst all the chaos?
Me: When your big downfall occurred, what was uppermost in your mind?
Moira: Oh, God. I’d kill for a good coma right now.
Me: Your husband, John, seems to always have a very positive attitude. He tries to make the best of a very bad situation. How does he do it?
Moira: Good men always win.
Me: Your daughter…
Moira: Alexis… something Rose.
Me: … yes, and your son, David, seem to have an interesting relationship with you. What do you say to them after something like this?
Moira: We have no interest in what’s going on with you.
Me: You starred in a soap for many, many years. How did you rise above the gossip mongers?
Moira: Gossip is the devil’s telephone. Best to just hang up.
Me: Do you have a favorite season?
Me: Okay. Well, I appreciate your taking the time to talk with me today. Thank you.
Moira: Let’s go. I’ve had enough waking hours for one day.