“Write about what makes you feel strong.”
Some of these Bloganuary prompts are so ironic to me. I read this prompt for today’s post, and all I could think was, “Nothing. Nothing makes me feel strong right now.”
You know how our lives have peaks and flows? Ups and downs? Smooth sailing and rough seas? I’m currently in the downward flow of the deep troughs of a rough sea. I know brighter days are out there. I realize this is temporary, though right now it doesn’t feel like it. I’m always the cheerleader for others who feel this way. Why can’t I cheerlead myself?
I won’t go into the whys and wherefores. No one wants to hear it, and frankly I’m tired of my own voice inside my head. I wish I could say prayer makes me strong like I hear from others, or my family (they do; or at least they try to) or, God help me, my spouse. But right now I don’t feel strong enough to see over it all. I’ve asked God for help. I’ve spoken with my family, many of whom have reached out. But I have a feeling this is something I just need to get through on my own, at least the biggest parts of it. I’ve been through hard times before, but it seems I was younger then; was I somehow stronger because of that? I shouldn’t think so. Maybe. But this time there are so many important variables and too many emotions mixed up in it all that I can’t seem to see the forest for the trees.
So I decided to look for some positive quotes. Just reading them is a good first step, or second, or third…? Here’s one I know was meant for me: