Family – Page 4

Dan

Posted on August 14, 2020August 14, 2020 by kokomeau

Dan, D-doy or, as Dad liked to call him, ‘Dandy,’ is the youngest of the Lucky 11, 18 years younger than me, a generation younger than his oldest brother. He was the sweetest little curly red-haired toddler, and people thought he was mine when I took him out. And I took him out often. I never corrected them.

Mom was so careful with her youngest. He was slight of build, so she constantly worried he would hurt himself or get swept up in the waves or have any number of childhood calamities befall him. But when he was perhaps 3 years old, she left him behind at the laundromat in the small town where they lived, not realizing it until she stopped at the drug store. Quickly racing back there, she found him sitting quietly, waiting. He loved cars, and at the age of 4 had his own way of describing vehicles, referring to them not as ‘truck’ or ‘car,’ but as ‘stick, lift, pop’ (stick shift with lift door handles and pop-up door locks), or ‘shift, pull’ (automatic with pull-out door handles). I would see him at my little VW bug spit-shining it till the area gleamed.

Danny took some time to grow into himself, or so it seemed to me. Quiet in school with one or two close friends, he had some tough acts to follow with his immediate older siblings. But rather than compete, Dan watched and learned and decided on his own to be his own. He was a quiet, creative, very sweet kid who grew into a quiet, steady, hard worker. He chose to work in the trades and will have one heckuva pension when he’s through. He dated on and off and eventually met the love of his life, Sunny, who could not be a better match for him. They both have a very quirky sense of humor and can read each other’s minds, or at least one would think so. Danny had no children of his own, but with Sunny’s baby granddaughter, he discovered what it means to love a child unconditionally.

Danny is my steady-Eddie. He is loving and loyal, easy to talk to, trustworthy and non-judgmental. He has a contagious grin and crazy quick one-liners, if you can listen fast enough to understand him. I feel kind of bad for Danny, in a way. Being the youngest means being around as your older siblings age and pass. I don’t envy any of the ‘second’ family that place. But we’re all pretty tight, and there will always be support no matter what place you are.

Family

Now, THAT’S better.

Posted on July 14, 2020August 14, 2020 by kokomeau

David and I just returned from visiting Meg in Richmond, a trip we’d planned even before she moved there since tickets were so crazy cheap. Even with the fiasco of the protests (read ‘riots’), we decided against canceling, hoping that our visit would help give Meg some feeling of normalcy.

I had reserved a cute B&B about 15 minutes from her, but when I had mentioned our visit to her landlords, Jim and Celia, he insisted we stay in one of their empty apartments in an historic building right next to Meg. I happily took him up on it and cancelled the other place.

Meg picked us up around 9:00 p.m. on Thursday night. She had to work the next day, so we had access to her car (she rarely has to drive it with her downtown location), but we discovered there’s plenty to walk to near the area we were in. Unfortunately, by the time late morning rolled around, the heat index was crazy, and we couldn’t stay out for long. That night Meg made a wonderful pot roast, and we made plans to visit historic Belle Isle Park in the morning before it got too hot.

David decided to pass, so she and I walked the very cool suspension bridge under the highway and found ourselves in a lovely shaded trail park filled with history and lots of people walking and biking, even at an early hour. Luna swam, I took pictures and eventually, when it began to heat up, we went back home.

If you can get past the devastation from the graffiti and the defacing of the statue pedestals, driving around Richmond is eye-opening in a good way. There are really cool residential areas like Church Hill, where Patrick Henry gave his “Give me liberty” speech, with tree covered brick streets and Chimborazo Park . Or Scott’s Addition, a former industrial area that has been redeveloped into what has to be a beer-lover’s paradise with pubs, breweries, and parks for entertainment. The Upper Fan District has beautiful old homes all in a row with inviting front porches and upper balconies for added character. There are too many restaurants to mention, and even during this pandemic, if you’re a mask-wearing customer, you’re welcome.

Sunday found us taking it easy indoors, finding fun restaurants and enjoying the day. After a tasty dinner of salmon and rice, Meg drove us the 15 minutes to the airport where we boarded our one-and-a-half-hour flight back home. I was so glad to see a more normal version of the city where she was born. While it’s certainly not the city it was before the riots, it’s definitely a place worth visiting.

Family

A Win-Win Winter!

Posted on March 15, 2020August 14, 2020 by kokomeau

I’m sorry, Ben, but I beg to differ.

While I’ve certainly heard this little ditty quite a bit over the years, try as I might, I can only remember one instance where I found it to be true, and that was the result of a horrible miscalculation on my part that caused an invited guest to stay long past the originally planned time frame. Totally my bad.

This past January found us moving to our (hopefully) forever home and bringing my 93-year-old mother along with us to enjoy the sun and warmth of Florida out of the cold winter months of northern Michigan. Owing, I believe, to her advanced age and an unknown future, we’ve found ourselves hosting lots of family and friends and enjoying sharing the sun, the beach, the great restaurants, and of course Mom.

When Mom first arrived near the beginning of January, she seemed confused by exactly how long she was staying, repeatedly quoting the above ditty most every day until finally, finally, she seemed to accept the fact that she was indeed here for the winter and that, yes, it was all right with Sean.

Every morning finds her at the table in the front window with her cup of coffee exclaiming how beautiful the sunshine is, how lovely the area and how lucky we are to live here. Before her computer bridge game, we check her email, and if nothing is new, she’ll say, “Well, out of sight, out of mind.” It’s then I remind her how many have come and how many will be coming, until she says, “Am I lucky or WOT!”

I’m lucky in David, too, who enjoys having guests as much as I do. I can’t think of anyone who has been here or who is planning a visit who is difficult to have. We’re pretty easygoing, and we find that perhaps because of that, company is easy to have. Everyone pitches in, no one is demanding, each person adds to the fun, and it’s so gratifying to watch how much Mom enjoys seeing them.

I know it’ll be a long, hot summer. People rarely visit during those months, and Mom will be back at her TC home enjoying the beauty of a northern Michigan summer. I’m gathering these moments as they come, enjoying the novelty of each visitor, hoping everyone is comfortable, well fed, watered (David’s department), and glad they came. As an added benefit of Mom being the draw, I get some great one-on-one time with some of my siblings I may not have had otherwise. It’s a win-win winter no matter which way you look at it!

There’s more family…and more pics…to come!

Family, Florida Fun

A Different Disney Magic

Posted on December 25, 2019 by kokomeau

When the magic of Disney and the magic of the Christmas season blend together, it can create the most wonderful time of the year in more ways than one.

This year I was lucky enough to be together with all my kids just a few days before Christmas. My Oklahoma son Drew and his family would be spending Christmas week at Disney World with his in-laws, probably the best people with which to ever experience Disney, and they had arranged for an altogether brunch at Raglan Road in Disney Springs the weekend before Christmas Day.

It was everything I could have hoped for. I’d brought the OK (but great) kids some small gifts recommended by their parents, and they all seemed to be a hit. Seeing my kids together with their kids, the interaction between cousins, aunts and uncles not often experienced, gave me such pleasure.

When I was a younger adult, 30’s to 40’s, whenever our huge family was together, my mom would say how she loved just watching us. She didn’t need to get involved; she simply got joy from watching her kids.

I’d have to agree, that is a magic all its own.

Family, Meg

My Forever Friend

Posted on December 5, 2019 by kokomeau

I have one daughter. She and her older brother actually had the same due date two years apart. He came early, she came late. I knew I was having a girl even before she was born. And once I figured out she was lactose intolerant, she thrived, eventually becoming her brother’s shadow, sidekick, and rescue (twice, to be exact). There’s a reason God gave me only one daughter. As I’ve said repeatedly, this one was like having three.

If you’ve ever had a strong-willed child, you’ll understand the fine line that must be navigated constantly so as not to discourage independence, while at the same time keeping your daughter safe. Beginning around the age of five, Meg loved to explore; usually public places that had restrooms. She loved the freedom to leave the group and find it on her own, making her way back with barely dry hands and a proud smile. What she wasn’t aware of was a parent was always discreetly behind her, making sure she was safe .

Meg has always been a ridiculously social being. Once, in the comments section of her report card, the teacher tactfully wrote, “Meghan excels socially.” School wasn’t so much for learning as it was to mingle among her peers. Rather than sit and watch a movie at the theater, she was more interested in seeing who else was there so she could sit with them.

Our relationship was a seesaw of joy and frustration, probably on both our parts. Through her teen years, letting her learn through real-life consequences was probably the most difficult part of mothering this child. But because of that, she has become one of the most independent, courageous, generous and loving adults I’ve ever known. We’ve grown from mother and daughter to best friends (always keeping in mind I get to play the ‘mom’ card if necessary). She is still strong-willed, but she has learned through trial and error to temper her opinions and understand that tactfulness is an art.

After traveling the country in her job, she has finally settled just over an hour from me, and we see each other as often as we can. We enjoy morning coffee, shopping, and talking about everything. We travel well together liking the same music, the same off-road attractions. She’s grown through health issues, job issues, and family issues, and her cup is always optimistically half full. And while she claims she still isn’t where she hoped she would be at this time in her life, God’s timing isn’t our timing. I tell her be patient. Believe. Have faith. And I think she does. I think she is right where she belongs.

There’s that old mom’s saying, “I hope you have a child just like you!” Well, I kind of do and I kind of don’t. While she’s like me in many ways, Meg has more confidence, more generosity, and more strength than I ever had. And she is my forever friend.

Happy birthday, my Meg.

Drew, Family

And Then There’s This Guy

Posted on November 30, 2019December 17, 2019 by kokomeau

I was living in Louisiana when I became pregnant with my first child. A month and a half before he was due, we moved back to Michigan in time to deliver a healthy baby boy on this date 38 years ago. After some difficult months of adjusting to my new status of mother, my poor little guinea pig finally began to thrive. His personality developed quickly, and I soon found myself the lucky recipient of one of the most joyful, pleasant, and funniest of beings.

I think the only time this kid cried, once he became a toddler, then a child and so on, was when he was hurt either emotionally (the ending of An Incredible Journey), or physically (Marco! Polo!). To say he had a pleasant disposition is an understatement. Sure, he got frustrated. Naturally, he got angry (he was a teenager). But if I search my memory, I can only think of a handful of times it happened, and he was always willing to talk things through.

Is he a typical ‘oldest’? I’d say yes. From little up, he has had a likeable spirit that could draw friends to him like bears to honey. He has a great work ethic and is a natural leader. He actually saved his little sister’s life more than once, though she hates to admit it. And he has always had the most incredible sense of fun, invariably able to make me laugh even when I didn’t want to. With his kind and generous heart, he can make you feel like you matter, even from a thousand miles away. His high school sweetheart turned wife and mother is the perfect match for him; he refers to her as a ‘joke ninja’. Their three children haven’t fallen far from the tree in terms of personality and silliness. As a family, they warm this mother’s heart.

I have a picture of him in my mind, about five or six years old. It is picture day in kindergarten. I dress him in suspenders, and he wants to wear a tie for the photo. He is the spitting image of Opie from Mayberry. He is lined up with his fellow classmates for their school picture, and he melts my heart. In another, he is playing right field at the ripe old age of seven. His deep purple cap is too big for his head. He has no clue what’s going on. But he’s having the time of his life tossing his cap in the air and chasing it down. I was videotaping him at the time, and the camera is shaking, up and down, while silent tears of laughter are running down my cheeks.

I was lucky enough to be asked to speak at his graduation. I said it then, and I’ll say it now.

“You have given me more joy and more laughter than many get in a lifetime, and I feel so lucky to have you in my life.”

Happy birthday, Andrew. I love you.

Childhood, Family, Florida Fun

Seasons Change, and So Do I

Posted on November 29, 2019August 16, 2023 by kokomeau

11/28/19. Thanksgiving Day. This will be my eighth holiday season in Florida, which is hard to believe. And of those eight, several of them were spent on my own in my own place doing my own thing, such as it was.

The holidays bring so many memories reaching all the way to when I was a kid. Our family would either host or attend the many get-togethers surrounding the season, and I would eventually come to understand the significance and the importance of tradition.

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Weather permitting, the kids would come prepared for the outdoors and would play outside until called in for dinner. It was always potluck style with everyone bringing a little something to the table. There was loads of help, with the kitchen as the center, the adults milling around, prepping the buffet for the long line of hungry eaters. Afterwards, tables were cleared, games were set up, and the fun and laughter would go well into the evening.

It’s difficult to let that go, but life happens; loved ones pass on, kids grow up and move on, and the only constant, it seems, is change. I know in some families it stays the same generation after generation. But in a family as large as ours, there’s bound to be lots of change, welcome and unwelcome.

And so it goes. This Thanksgiving kicks off the holiday season that eases our way into 2020 and another year. Family and friends surround us helping create new memories. We slowly establish new traditions while thinking back to the ones that formed us. Seasons change, times change, but I wouldn’t change a thing.

Family

What a kid.

Posted on November 21, 2019November 25, 2019 by kokomeau

My three-year-old granddaughter was over for dinner last night. I had knitted her some pink socks because everything has to be pink right now. But they were too small, and she was disappointed and asked me to make some more. I suggested she come with me to my yarn stash and pick out some yarn, and I would attempt to make socks for her and her baby sister, and if there was enough left, for her momma.

She picked out the yarn you see here, calling it a pink rainbow. I love it! Then she said to make them right now.

Anyone who does any kind of fiber crafting knows that ‘right now’ isn’t happening, especially with a knitted sock. But I told her she could help me wind the yarn into a ball so it would be ready. She happily agreed to that and really liked the way it turned out, going from hank (“I wanna use it for a jump rope!) to ball.

She climbed up next to me on the couch and asked if I would ‘pease make them now.’ I told her I would start them now, but that it’ll take a long time to finish them. Her response was,

“That’s okay. I’ll wait.”
Her momma questioned, “But it will take a lot of days. Where will you sleep?”
AJ: “Amember that time when I hanged out with Aunt Meghan and Cousin Stephanie? I wanna hang out with Nana and Daydid.”
Nana: But I can’t get them done tonight. It will take me lots of days.
AJ: “That’s okay. I’ll wait.”

God, I love this kid.