MY CASH REGISTER SYSTEM

What brilliant soul thought high technology would make our lives easier, more manageable, and less stressful? What foul forward thinker said computers are the way of the future? And what right-brained techno-geek believed we needed computerized “CASH REGISTER SYSTEMS” instead of the tried-and-true push-button, handle-grabbing, bell-ringing registers of old? I want to find him and string him up by his ‘mouse.’ (And believe you me, it’s a HIM!)

Things are going swimmingly at ye ol’ yarn shop. I’m having a great time. I’m there before 9:00 every morning (well, mostly) until the early-evening hours. We’re in full swing by 10:00 a.m. I get excited when I see Santa the UPS guy bringing boxes of goodies. I love seeing my mailman put envelopes in my box like I’m a real store. I happily and cheerfully greet all who come in. This part of it is all good.

The thing I’m waiting to conquer — the thing I’m hoping to get past — is the sinking feeling every time someone walks up to my “CASH REGISTER SYSTEM“ to make a purchase. I know; I know. This should be a great feeling; right? I should be thinking, “Yippee! Someone liked what I picked out enough to give me money for it!” That’s what I should be thinking.

Instead I’m inwardly groaning and praying, “Oh, God, please let the “CASH REGISTER SYSTEM” work this time! Please let the scanner read the bar code! Please let it be a bar code I did right!” (Another story for another day.) “Please, no ERROR message! Don’t let me appear the incompetent fool I feel right now!” — all the while smiling and making small talk like I’ve been doing this all my life and of course I know how to check them out. (Do they have an Oscar category for Inept Shop Owners Pretending To Be Knowledgeable Shop Owners? They should.)

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again. Knitters are the best. In two weeks’ time I’ve managed to give incorrect change, give no change at all, give the wrong receipt for credit cards (they have the signed copy), give no receipt at all, even sworn at the “CASH REGISTER SYSTEM” in what I thought was under my breath. Through it all my knitters have been patient, understanding, even kind in their responses to my ongoing frustration with that which would make my life easier.